Why I Refuse to Start Over After My Divorce


"Now I get to look at the road ahead of me and pick any path I want.”


I’m 43 years old and I’m getting divorced from a man I was with for 22 years. The last time I was single, I was 21 and The Spice Girls were dominating everyone’s FM radio. I look in the mirror at a middle-aged woman where a girl once stood and think about how I’m starting over.


(Can you believe I was 21 in this picture?)

I have to start over at 43.

But I don’t. Starting over would suck. Starting over would imply going back to the beginning and abandoning all the progress I made over the last 22 years.


My degree.

My writing.

My children.

I didn’t fail and get sent back to the start line. I stumbled. I took steps and lost my footing. Maybe, I fell. But when you fall on your path, you don’t go back to the beginning. You start from where you stumbled. You pick up and keep going from there. You don’t lose the progress you made.

I am 43 years old and getting divorced. Now I get to look at the road ahead of me and pick any path I want, with years of experience to guide me. I have learned what I don’t want. I have learned what I won’t stand for and I have learned what is important to me.

That 21-year-old girl in 5-inch platform heels doesn’t have to worry about me going back there and joining her. Some stuffy old lady, following her around the clubs. I’m not starting over. I’m starting from where I stumbled.










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